This celeb endorsement takes the cake….

“Stones guitarist Keith Richards is the new face of Louis Vuitton.

The guitarist is seen posing in a New York City hotel room with a guitar (Gibson ES-335 if you must know) on his lap, it's case on the bed next to him, skull cloths draped over the lampshade and even a skull on the bedside table.”

**WARNING**

Seeing this ad in person might make your testicles shrink and you might even have the sudden urge to wax your chest. I mean, one of rock’s greatest legends doing his FIRST endorsement….for Louis Vuitton bags??? Fine, you get some cool points back for donating your fee to Climate Project, but couldn’t you endorse a product worthy of your name? Like 190-proof Everclear or something? How about endorsing that life-prolonging/std-cleansing gas chamber you’ve been using for the past 30 years??

…or maybe you could just tell us where to find that chamber? Seriously, this itch won’t go away Keith.

-Crescent Fresh

Happy Birthday Crescent Fresh!

Ladies, ladies...let me tell you a little story. A story that is "super cres at best."

On February 27th, 1980, Mama Dukes Crescent was driven to Redbank Hospital, NJ in a sky blue corvette stingray. 28 years later, the eerily relevant truths of music celebrities are graciously pushed through the tight envelope of society with a wit and candor that only one man could achieve. Read that sentence again, its almost as good as the man this article is about.

So join me, elitists and angry-music-mobsters. Celebrate a birthday worth celebrating. Here is to the man that adds such a spice to this site, and even more basil and tarragon to the lives that he touches.

Happy Birthday Crescent Fresh!

- Echo and the Boys of Armed&Ready

An Open Letter to Mr. Edgar Bronfman, Jr., Mr. Tom Whalley and Mr. Lyor Cohen:

I am not sure how many e-mails (or even blog posts) you get a year from young 20-something entrepreneur hopefuls, but here it goes...

The music scene has changed. In the past 10 years, technology and illegal downloads have given way to a counter-culture audience with a feel-free attitude on downloading and music piracy. People download and exchange files like children trading baseball cards, and a lack of reprimand by the industry has made this black market a societal norm. There are no ramifications, besides the RIAA's suit against Jammie Thomas, and chances are in 2008 if you download copyrighted music from your personal computer, there will be no cop knocking at your door.
And because of this, there is a significant paradigm shift in consumer attitude. Consumers no longer need a harmonious 13-track album to put on their music player to achieve a certain mood. They hit shuffle on their iPod or iTunes, and just press next when a song doesn't satisfy them. Artists are now making music not for an album, but in hopes that a single track will become the new hot internet single.
There has also been an attitude change toward record companies. Millions of indie bands have access to MySpace and a 4-track-mixer, their friends have a makeshift studio, or something of the like. These bands are releasing their own recorded music. Artists are beginning to feel less and less of a need for the big record contract that makes them an overnight superstar. The current notion is that record companies are there to exploit bands, give them less than a dollar per record sale, and kick them off of the label when they are unproductive. Musicians are becoming discouraged with the state of record deals, and record companies are not making changes at the same rate as the music community's perception of what is fair and what is unconscionable.

This is where this e-mail doesn't become a badgering of the record industry, but a means for a change.

I have had this idea for some time now, where a record company like Warner Music Group's Warner Brother's Records would create and sponsor a “Music Camp” with the prestige of the great institutions in our country like Harvard or Princeton. This college would screen tens of hundreds of applicants yearly, accepting only 6-8 unsigned bands every quarter. These unsigned bands with infinite potential would come to this institution to solely work on music in hopes of creating the next best record. We would have record producers, lyricists and advisors of all sorts on hand to work directly with the musicians all hours of the day.
The bands would live on the premises for these four months, in an environment dedicated to the betterment of their craft. We would work one-on-one with each band, every day, mastering the next best thing. The bands would be responsible for recording a full length EP, along with tailoring their live show and “look.”
The goal is to make this institution a music factory, where we bring in unpolished yet extremely talented music groups and work directly with them to get them to a level of mastery and to have infinite success in the public domain. Warner Brother's Records would have the rights to their music, and the musicians will gladly sign a contract when they have been given such an incredible experience and know that together with Warner Brother's Records will be successful in the public domain. They have worked with an all-star group of music professionals, and together have now laid a thick foundation toward success in the music industry.
By the time the bands that have come to our institution and end up being successful in the music market, the music college will end up paying for itself. The name of the college will get stronger, more applications will come in, and the pool of bands to choose from will yield stronger outliers. This music factory will essentially be a condensed form of the music industry as a whole, as the screening process would serve like WMG's A&R division, producers are on-hand to apply their talents and give extremely important feedback, and contracts and negotiations can all happen in a controlled environment.

I welcome the opportunity to meet with the three of you to further develop these initial ideas, as all strong businesses start with a great idea and the means to achieve it. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Feel free to contact me at any time. My e-mail address is scott@armedready.com. Together, let's change the face of music on a global scale.

Sincerely,
Scott Greenberg

Busta Rhymes has the System all in Check:

“A Manhattan judge sentenced Busta Rhymes to three years' probation and 10 days of community service Wednesday for assaulting his former driver and a fan.

The 35-year-old rapper was also fined $1,250, plus court costs, for driving while intoxicated and with a suspended license.

He pleaded guilty to the charges — related to four separate incidents — in Manhattan Criminal Court.”

Celebs always have smooth sailing when it comes to getting in trouble with the judicial system. I mean, just last month, I was coming home from the studio and my driver was late. So, what did I do? I smacked that driver in the neck. I was so irritated that I even slapped an adoring fan as I made my way home.

Okay, that driver MIGHT have been my mom picking me up from my job and that random fan MIGHT have been my unsuspecting girlfriend, but STILL. How come Crescent Fresh gotzta gets locked up for 3 months in the county jail, but Busta only gets community service and a slap on the wrist? This reeks of celeb-favoritism.

(Let it be known that this last post was just a joke and that I really don’t hit women…..or have my Mom pick me up from work. Really.)

- Crescent Fresh

Hey Hey You You – I Steal Music

Punky pop star Avril Lavigne has reached a settlement in a lawsuit that accused her of plagiarizing her summer hit single, "Girlfriend."
As a result, claims that '70s rock band the Rubinoos were ripped off have been dropped.

But…but….I thought if you were innocent that you DON’T settle? You didn’t want to fight this one out to the bitter end to defend your lyrical ownership? I mean how “punk rock” is that Avril? You’ll come to understand that we here at Armed&Ready are not the biggest fans of the Lav-ig-nuh so, the fact that she now has to eat her own words makes the fever I’ve been running for the past few days seem to ease up a little.

And to be fair, a settlement doesn’t overtly admit fault of thievery. However, settling out of court over a dispute of intellectual property is like having a glass of hot milk thrown over your face while you on an important business call. You look pretty dumb in front of your coworkers and then you smell like warm milk. Ergo, Avril smells like milk.

(We have no evidence to prove of this Avril-odor, but I mean c’mon….Don’t you get that “she reeks of warm curdled milk” feeling when you look at her?)

- Crescent Fresh

Imbruglia Lovers : Unite!

Singer Natalie Imbruglia has split from her husband after four years of marriage, it has been announced. The 32-year-old said she and Silverchair frontman Daniel Johns had grown apart due to the pressures of work.

While we here at A&R feel bad for this failed marriage, we can’t complain that the Imbruglia-hotness is back on the market. And when we say “back on the market” we mean that there is a faint chance in hell that one of us has a shot with her. And by “faint chance in hell”, we mean that we’d be lucky if we happen to meet her personal assistant who then told Natalie that she “met some guy with silly sideburns today....and you missed a call from Enrique Iglesias.” It just DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. However, Natalie…if you’re out there and reading this…we could make sense. Great, nasty sense…

- Crescent Fresh

Unsexy? As in the anti-sex?

Okay, we’ll admit. When we first heard of something called “Sanjaya” being released to the world we ran to our local STD clinic to get treatment. After the itching went away, we figured he was just a horrible singer.

But top 10 in the 100 most “unsexy” men of 2007?!? That’s just mean spirited. I mean, the man can hula dance and make little girls cry. And we all know that tears scream SEXY!

Just when you thought untalented male musicians with ridiculous Farrah Fawcett woman-hair could go unnoticed as "unsexy" in this world, this demeaning list comes out.

Where is the justice in this world?

- Crescent Fresh